brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
