We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
