2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
