and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
COCAINE IS GR8
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
