There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
