To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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