What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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