advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize