i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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