First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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