You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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