So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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