forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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