whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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