i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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