What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
