A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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