I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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