I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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