are you still at the devil's house?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need a burrito and a hug.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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