I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
