but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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