Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
