I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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