At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
