Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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