he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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