i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
