He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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