Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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