i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
