help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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