thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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