wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation