It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that