Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.