It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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