Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
