She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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