I am spending my child support on dildos
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
