My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
