wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
