Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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