I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
