I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
