I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
