I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
