party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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