i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
