Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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