Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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