that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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