omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
