this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
