I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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