So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
