so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
