Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
