dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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