drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just cropdusted the office
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So here I am, sexting at work.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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