shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
