big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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