I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
