i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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