He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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