yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
