i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
