Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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